September 17th, 2008

I’m about ten pounds less than my pre-pregnancy weight, which is nice, but still nowhere near any sort of ideal range.  And when I look in the mirror, I’d think I’d be happy that I’ve lost some weight, but what I see reflected back is so shockingly unattractive.  And then I stumbled across this site, the shape of a mother, and it helps me feel better.

I was thinking about the well-intended comments from the well-intended doctors about the need to lose weight, and how irksome I find it, as though it never occurred to me that I might be heavy and that it might have health ramifications at some point in life.  No, I didn’t notice that I was obese.  I missed that one.

At least my own ob/gyn isn’t making mention of it.  He’s been my doctor for fifteen years or so, through the whole fertility challenge, the pregnancies, the miscarriages, both cases of GD and both deliveries.  He probably said something at some point, but he doesn’t keep repeating things, and I appreciate that.

Part of me has been thinking that maybe this time will be the time — that my life is in a place where all the pieces are fitting together — I have my family, two beautiful boys!  I have a good job, good health insurance coverage, good retirement/pension prospects, a stable home, and I live in a mostly decent neighborhood (apart from one set of troublesome neighbors).

This may be the time when emotionally I’m ready to tackle my self.  And possibly it won’t be that hard.  That is my hope.

I’ve been wondering about what might be the best exercise choice for me.  I still don’t have all that much energy, at this point, three weeks post-partum.  My belly still hurts and has alot of numb and tingly spots that ache much much more if/when I get constipated.  Supposedly this new pain is due to the abdominal wall as things are shrinking their way back to normal. Apparently my uterus and all things female are okay, which is goodness.

I think I’ll start doing my wii Dance Dance Revolution again.  That was fun and got me sweating nicely, so surely it must have been a reasonable amount of exercise.  I can also walk, but why is it that the thought of getting dressed and going outside seems overwhelming?  It feels so nice to be outside, once there, but the getting there is the hurdle.  I can rejoin the gym, but not for at least a couple more months, and if I do, I will want to go enroute to or from the office, so I don’t have to wrangle the kids.  That will mean that I absolutely will have to count on Gadget to be there for daycare pickup.  And here I am, only three weeks into my LB’s life, and thinking about daycare.  I ought to just be thinking of the moment, which is sleep, pump, feed, wash bottles, sleep, pump, feed, wash bottles.

This baby time is so fleeting.  I absolutely must savor every moment.  And try not to think about body image for a while.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 17th, 2008 at 9:04 AM and is filed under health, me, pregnancy, weight loss. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

6 Responses to “body image”

Leslie Says:

Walk your babies. Every day that it isn’t raining. When cold weather comes, walk then too. Invest in the proper stroller to do that — get one with big wheels that will go on all terrains – grass, sand, some snow, whatever. Not one of those silly little small-wheeled ones. Get a double stroller that will accomodate infant and toddler.

If you can’t feel like doing it for yourself right now, see that they need the fresh air and sunlight and stimulation of outdoors.

Voice of experience, kiddo.

I’m new to your blog and loving it.

Best wishes,

bluemountainsmary Says:

Walking is good I agree.

You really have to WANT to do it. It has taken years for the switch to suddenly be flicked and the total desire to lose weight kick in. It has finally happened and I want it. I didn’t really before.

Now is not the time – you are right!

Stomper Girl Says:

I think you should recover from the birth first, darl, and give yourself a bit of space from the constant feeding and sleeplessness.

Leslie has it right with the walking. And if you do manage to keep up with the breast-feeding then the fat stores will be magically converted into sustenance, which is Mother Nature at her finest I reckon!

Pages tagged "irksome" Says:

[…] bookmarks tagged irksome body image saved by 1 others     Sana12 bookmarked on 09/25/08 | […]

lili Says:

WTH? Why would someone take the trouble to bookmark/tag a post as irksome? If it’s irksome, why not just NOT read it and move on? I don’t get it.

lili Says:

Walking is good. And DDR is fun!

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