It feels good to feel good. But I am discovering that it’s not all smooth sailing, navigating this slippery slope of mood stabilization. It’s been about 4 weeks now, and I’ve begun noticing tightness in my jaw, as though I’m unconsciously clenching it, all day long. It’s a bit unnerving. It’s like a displaced anxiety. Take it away from one place and it pops out another. I don’t like it.
A cursory Google search yields numerous accounts of jaw clenching as a side-effect of SSRIs and SNRIs. Even more alarming are the scattered accounts of tics and twitches that may in some cases become permanent. It frightens me.
I was told it takes 4-6 weeks to realize the full benefit of this medication, so I think I will continue with it this month. If the jaw tightness remains, I think I will refill one more month on the prescription and use it to gradually taper off. Because I’ve also read that side-effects from discontinuation are unpleasant.
I wonder if having this reminder of what it feels like to feel good will act as a neural reference point, and help me to attain that frame of mind without brain chemical interference. I hope so. I’m somewhat torn. I want to continue feeling bright and good, but this involuntary jaw clenching has got to go. It’s mere presence causes anxiety, which defeats the purpose of the medication.
It just feels so good to feel good. I wish it didn’t come at this price.
