It’s excruciating. While waiting to retake the test, I did some research on all the various exposures I’ve had and found some peace in learning that there was very little risk involved. I breathed a sigh of relief and then tried to reconstruct the time line and the symptoms. I matched the symptoms against the early symptoms checklist. I started fantasizing about baby names. I tried to guess due date. I came up with January 14, 2007. Imagine that! Boo’s birthday.
All for naught. I couldn’t wait the full week that I’d told myself to wait. I tested this morning, and it’s very cleary ‘not pregnant’.
Even though I told myself not to get overly excited about the prospects, and even though it might not be the best instant in time for me to be with child…
…I’m still disappointed. I can’t help but feel that way.
I had myself so convinced. The nausea. I never have nausea. I fell asleep at Cirque du Soleil on Sunday, for crying out loud. Only for a few minutes, but it’s that same overpowering fatigue that I remember from the last time.
Sigh. C’est la vie. Maybe another time. I hope.
