...my future's so bright I have to wear shades... ...see how I sparkle!
I’m in a slump! I’m always tired and feel like the blood in my veins is more like sludge. I have no energy. No inspiration. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada.
Gah!
It doesn’t help much that I sprained my hip. I have good meds so I am ambulatory, and it’s feeling much better, thank you.
I tidied the boys’ toy room — it’s amazing how they can make any place look like a complete disaster, with almost no effort at all. They hardly even have any toys remaining, since I’ve confiscated almost everything. And they STILL manage to spread them out to cover every inch of floor space. It’s like the way Jesus fed the thousands with only a couple loaves of bread. That’s what they can do with their toys. Nothing short of miraculous. Only it doesn’t do much to benefit humankind.
It’s a cloudy day, but hopefully it will be nice enough to take the boys for a walk, once the little one wakes up from his nap.
I should plan the grocery list for the week, but did I mention that I have no inspiration?
I don’t seem to be following the normal stages of grief and loss. The first stage is denial. I’m excellent at that. But I’ve moved on. The next stage is fear and anger. I sort of skipped that stage, I think, and went straight to grief and depression. But I’m sort of waffling back and forth between depression and anger. Different thoughts surface now and then, and I find myself irritated, but also thankful, because the mere presence of those thoughts helps cement the reasons for my actions in changing my life path so dramatically. The final stage is acceptance. I like to think that I have acceptance, in that I know that moving on was the right thing to do. However. Key back to the slump comment. No energy. No inspiration. These are clearly marks of depression.
And I don’t want to be depressed! I want to be thrilled! I want to be excited! I want to laugh! I want to sparkle!
Gah!
Where’s my fountain of life?!
