December 8th, 2009

I love this age of conversation and reason.  He is nearly five, and he has so much to say.  He conveniently listens only when it suits him, but that may be what any normal child does.

I love to tease him!  Recently he’s shown a sensitivity to boy-girl teases.  In Monsters vs Aliens, there is a scene where Susan smooches Derek.  Now, if I say, “My name is Suuuuuuusan, and I’m going to smoochie smoochie you,” he runs and shrieks and covers his face and blushes, “NOOOOOOOOOO, Don’t DO that Mommy!”

He also thinks it’s funny that my name IS Susan.  He makes sure he tells every passerby, “My Mommy’s name is Suuuuuusan.”  And when asked what HIS name is, he responds without missing a beat, “Gallaxhar.”   Only it sounds like “Gow-ax-ove,” so I have to translate and explain, because, well, not everyone has seen Monsters vs Aliens.  Fifty. Thousand.  Times.

He memorizes full scenes.  “Derek, you are a selfish jerk.”  All the way to “Lime green jello with fourteen pieces of pineapple.”

All I have to say is a few obscure words from the movie and it will send him into giggles.  I love that!  I especially love his reaction when I say, “What the flagnar!”  –He gets very animated and tells me, “Don’t SAY that!”   It’s swearing, after all.   We’re working on his vocabulary of approved expressions.  “Oh shoot.”  “Holy Cheezits.”  “Darn-it.”  “Goodness gracious.”   I get severely reprimanded if I say “Dammit,” even when justified after severely stubbing my toe on something.

what the flagnar!

what the flagnar!

I wonder if I should be concerned that he usually wants to be the villain.  Darth Vader.  Megatron.  Gallaxhar.  Maybe it’s just a male leadership testosterone thing, and not the makings of a future sociopath.

He’s very much into make-believe right now.  I hear him talking to Susan and Gallaxhar, or about them to an imaginary somebody.  He integrates bits of reality.  Recently, he was telling an imaginary someone that Susan and Gallaxhar were dead because they got in a car crash from a drunk driver.

Sometimes he gets things spot on.  “Daddy is being a selfish jerk.”

I don’t want the grown ups’ differences to wrench at the kids, and I want to keep them shielded from my personal emotional unrest with their dad, which is at times very difficult to hide.  So I tell him, “Daddy is just going through a hard time right now and he’s angry, and sometimes when people are angry, they act like that.  Hopefully Daddy will feel better soon.”

And I mean that.

It’s a rough ride for him, being forced to grow up and move into the world on his own, my forty two year old teenager.  Life is much different when you have to concern yourself with accountability and responsibility, when you have to make your own way, pay your own bills.  Anger is probably much easier to work with than fear, uncertainty, and despair.  So anger he manifests, but I can see the frightened boy, and my heart breaks for him, but I have to let  him go.  I have to stay this course.

It’s so very hard, and there’s no easy way through.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 8th, 2009 at 5:27 AM and is filed under children, divorce, tv/film. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

3 Responses to “what the flagnar”

thebluemoongirl Says:

Monsters vs. Aliens is pretty popular around here too. We haven’t watched it 50,000 times though! DG LOVES Bob in that movie. Whenever she sees him, she points and shrieks, “Bah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-b!!!”

I think the need to be the bad guy is a boy thing. Mr. B says he always wanted to be the bad guy and he’s mostly normal today! 😉

I think it’s awesome that you’re taking the high road with everything. It would be so tempting to turn them against their dad. It’s nice to see a parent who is doing the right thing for their kids because he’s still their dad no matter what else happens.

I had more to say, but Sesame Street (Another VERY popular item at our house!) is now over and I have to go! 🙂

Aunty Evil Says:

He is gorgeous! It is great that you can have fun with him, you both need that light relief at times I bet.

Keep putting one foot forward, but be careful not to make too many concessions for the big boy, no doubt if push comes to shove, you will get shoved.

Stomper Girl Says:

Hail Galaxar. (We love that movie here at Chez Stomper too)

I’m glad you’re adult enough to see that anger/fear thing but what a shame he doesn’t! (You rock Susan)