sueeeus

Oh yes.

So they sit there and read the paper while you hang out the washing and bring the previous load in and fold it and sort it into piles (all done in front of them) and then write out the shopping list and get the green bags out and go do the grocery shopping and then you come home and YOU sit down with the paper for a minute so THEY can put the shopping away and they get all narky and expect you to help.

Oh pardon, did I just say all that out loud?

Boy oh boy you are definitely not alone on this one!

Usually what happens to me is that I hear, “But I’ve already changed her diaper once today.” So do you want a medal???

Oh dear. Speaking of, the bub is fussing and tired and I have to go get her down for bed while Mr. B laments that she’s noisy and he can’t hear the TV…

I cured that crappe behavior in my husband by leaving town BY MYSELF for 3 days when the boys were little. I left him a list, clean laundry, pantry stocked and concise notes on when to do what. The house looked horrible when I got back, and I pointed out what a mess it was. He looked sheepish.
When he again started with that behavior, I again left town. No helpful notes, no laundry done, no food in the refrigerator. And stayed 4 days. I also ‘happened’ to leave the week there were doctor’s visits, an orthotic fitting (youngest had to be held in wrestling holds heh heh heh), and therapy appointments that I scheduled so close together, dh was literally careening around corners to not be late. I did not answer my phone much, either “up in the hills, dear – no cell phone reception”.
Third time, I said “Fuck this!” and hired housecleaning, babysitting and stopped being low maintenance. I still have the housecleaning and babysitting, but I’m not quite as high maintenance. He hasn’t said A Word. And now that he travels so much, the housecleaning and babysitting is necessary, not a luxury.
Sueeeus, you need a Come To Jaysus meeting with that guy. Give him a list of what you need help with! Quit babying him. What’s he going to do – leave? I don’t think so.
I’m telling you, if more women would leave their young children with the dads, the dads would have new respect for what the women do. And the kids survive FINE. It improves their relationship with their dads, quite honestly. And it really helps you get your head back on straight. having 2 full time jobs is way too much work. Lowering your standards doesn’t work – you just get more resentful.