(Hello again, Gorgeous Boy!)
Counting today, I have three week days of leave remaining, and I find myself teetering on the brink of anxiety. So there are things that I try to remind myself:
- there will always be laundry to wash, dry, fold, and put away
- there will always be dishes to wash, dry, and put away
- there will always be groceries to buy and meals to plan and prepare
- there will always be bills to pay, accounts to reconcile, errands to be run
- there will always be work to do
- there will not always be a teeny tiny snuggly baby to have and to hold
This helps me put things in perspective, when I begin to panic, wondering where the time has gone and find that my days are consumed with mostly mundane things, and that soon I will have to add to each day several hours of computer working time. It’s not that I won’t have time for all that I have now. I will just have to rearrange the manner in which I do things. I spend a good amount of time each day pumping, and concurrently on the computer. Soon I’ll be doing bona fide work during much of this time, so that should have little impact to the overall picture. I’ll just be adding a few more hours to this.
Rather than be anxious and wistful that my leave is coming to an end, I should stop and smell the roses. I should see the forest and the trees. I should savor the teeny tiny snuggly baby times, because they are fleeting.
That being said, I love the middle of the night feedings the best. My precious LB is mostly asleep and not fighting himself or me, and takes the bottle with little or no fuss. When I pick him up he draws his little legs up to his body like a froggie, and I snuggle him close and listen to his funny rythmic feeding sounds, which are somewhere between a very softly braying donkey and a very softly honking goose. I need to capture that sound! Rather than try to sleep through the night, I’ve decided to do a pumping session between 2 and 4 a.m., as I’ve learned that there tends to be more milk during this time. I feed him prior to pumping, so I’m awake enough to savor the time, aware of the smile on my face as I hear those funny sounds and feel the warmth of his tiny body snuggled close to mine. It’s a magical, fleeting time that I treasure to the utmost.
As for everything else, I must try not to panic. There is time for all of it. It’s just life being lived.
MsCellania Says:
