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Hrumph. Bok bok what !, said I, when the results popped up. Below average. Impossible! This is an outrage! And all this time I thought my logical intelligence was above average. But I don’t know what is considered logical intelligence. This test, it must be rigged, methinks. So I cheated tried it again, and went back and changed answers in various combinations, but nothing I could do could budge that logical intelligence rating. I didn’t try changing answers to the questions I knew I had right. Maybe I should have. Maybe they would have been logical, but not mathematically correct. Oh who knows. I am hitherto resigned to the fact that I am a logical fool.

Your IQ Is 135

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius Your General Knowledge is Exceptional

April 10, 1993
Don’t worry, I’m still your little boy. I still remember when I was little, and it seemed like the whole world hated me and the only place I had to turn was you, and you were there. I still need you as much as when I was little. As I grew up, life sucked more and more. I don’t remember exactly when the fire in my eyes went out, when my dreams and ambitions went away….

…Every day I wish I could change. I can’t have fun. I can’t smile. Something inside me won’t let me…

…Don’t worry though, I’m still your little prince and you can hold me and make me forget about all my troubles and then make me make tea for you…

…take care… I love you!

He has found his smile again, and now he is at peace. How my heart has ached for him. How I wish he could have found his smile another way.

In light of recent events, I am taking it upon myself to simplify my life. I’ve removed many of the links from my blog stalking list. I spend far too much time reading other people’s blogs, and while I greatly enjoy this activity, I must cut back and be less obsessive. I’ve left a few links, and these fine folks have links to the blogs that I’ve removed from my list, so I will still stalk from time to time, while passing through. I’ve added a few people to my links. These are people who have shared warmth and compassion from across the miles, and I would like to gently stalk them so that I can return the warmth and send good thoughts their way.

One step at a time, bit by bit, I want to find my way to the place where I savor life, all aspects of it, more fully. So layer by layer, I must peel away the extras, until I reach that gleaming core.

Today’s theme is Addiction. Suddenly addiction is a difficult word for me. I would make light of it in earlier days, but now, there is a solemn hush that settles in my mind when I consider the word. Addiction. In some form or another, Addiction reared its ugly head and consumed my brother, rendering him nearly unrecognizable, and barely a shell of his former self. Ultimately, a vessel only, with no life remaining. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. His earthly vessel is no more than dust now, and his spirit and soul have been released into forever, where he is free and at peace, himself once more, unentangled and unencumbered by addiction. Addiction. HOW UGLY YOU ARE! I shout it to the universe. LEAVE US ALONE! Alas, we are not wholly powerless in the matter. We fall snare to addiction by our own choices. It’s a subtle dance we dance. Seldom do we see it coming, and if we do, often we look the other way. It won’t happen to me. Who gets the last laugh Not you. Not me. Addiction.

I don’t want to make light of addictions today. Today I will show and tell my obsessions. Similar, but not quite the same. I have many obsessions. I am somewhat OCDly (Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorderly), after all. I made up my own acronym-adjective, thank you very much. Or is that an adverb I am awful with grammatical terms and definitions, although I can sometimes manage to string words together in a not-too-unpleasing way.

Obsession Category: The quest for perfection. Currently the quest is for the perfect tea and coffee cup. Volume, density, weight, shape, design, color, price. These are all important factors. Previous quests included the search for the perfect pepper mill. I didn’t find it. I gave up and then sold most of my surplus on eBay. The measure was found at J. Paul Getty Museum restaurant in Los Angeles. A compact stainless steel device that ground fine to coarse with such smooth perfection. I could never find its equal.

Other obsessions can be read about, ad nauseum, if one were to peruse this blog. The number one obsession, unparalleled, unmatched, hands down, is none other than MY BOY BOO. As it should be.

Even when times are sad, the beauty and innocence of a child does wonders to heal a broken heart.
Especially when said child is this cute. I took him on an airplane with trepidation in my heart, but my little champion did splendidly. He met his cousins for the first time, and dressed up and went trick-or-treating. He liked being part of the group. He is oh, so fierce and ferocious, don’t you think I already had the fabric from previous projects, and only needed to buy the fur. It was $20/yd, but I just bought 6 inches and had plenty for the effect. I like the boots and hat the best.

1. Seek knowledge and understanding of depression in its many forms and the myriad ramifications thereof; causes and consequences and how they feed and fuel one another.
2. Learn warning signs.
3. Communicate more openly with my family.
4. Consider No. 1 prior to expressing opinions while endeavoring to accomplish No. 3 so that any words that come forth from me are edifying and if not edifying, then simple unadulterated truth. In either case, spoken in love and love only.
5. Find answers that I can give the children should they bring their tears to me.
6. Honor life more.
7. Love myself more.
8. Live more simply.
9. Impart in my child the deep and abiding knowledge that I love him unconditionally now and forever, no matter what.
10. Savor life in all its moments, mundane or not.
11. Forgive.
12. Love more.