He’s being an ass. He doesn’t think so, but I think so. It’s all perception anyway, and this is my reality, regardless of how he sees it.
So, what should I think or how should I take it if he got a new cell phone and won’t give me his new number? Never mind the part about not telling me, so that I get to continue paying his $100/month service plus there will be a $175 cancellation fee. Nice move, Mister Communication Skills. His job changed hands and he won’t give me his new email address either. He did give me his new work number, but what good does that do me if there’s any reason to reach him while he’s not working? He won’t tell me where he’s staying either.
Ass.
He was supposed to go to a parenting seminar, ordered by the state in all divorce cases, on Friday. But did he go? No. He had things to do he said. He said he rescheduled. I hope he was telling the truth. I don’t know what happens if you don’t fulfill your court mandated obligations, but I’m sure it’s not particularly pleasant. He doesn’t seem to think it matters much. Or something. Maybe he thinks he’s above the law.
Ass.
Yesterday he showed up to winterize the boat. I thought he’d do it himself, but he said something about taking it to a friend. I wanted to go to the cable store to get the account switched to my name, since it’s in his name, and asked if we could do that. He said he had to get going because his friend had somewhere he had to be at 3. Since it was after noon, I thought that was pushing it for getting it done, even if they were super efficient. Meanwhile, I begged him to load the generator in the van for me so that I could return it, since he’s refusing to do anything for me any more. He won’t install it. He won’t winterize the sprinklers. He won’t do anything. He says, ‘You wanted to be single. You can hire out.’
Ass.
Am I right? Anyhow, I figured I’d better return it while I could, but it turns out it had a 30 day return policy and this was day 40. Nice. I’m stuck with $1400 store credit for Home Depot. Maybe I’ll get a granite slab for my island counter. It was a challenge returning the electrical box as well. That was $300 and he’d gotten the display, so it was marked down. The store didn’t want to take it back because it was used (as THEIR display) and it claimed to have all parts there, but when they looked it over, they said it was missing three things and that I’d have to take it back to the store where he got it, 30 miles away. Meanwhile, I’m holding a tired and cranky LB and trying to keep my ADD BB within reach, and insisting that all the parts that it came with are there. Back and forth and forth and back, and finally I asked which parts are missing, and they described them, and I said, let’s look in the boxes. Lo and behold, eventually, I accounted for all the parts. And they still wanted me to take it back to the other store but I begged the man, and he could see I was on the verge of tears, so he authorized the return and I got my $300 back. Meanwhile, I’m not sure how my blood pressure fared. It’s so hard not to voice my frustrations or keep my composure in front of the kids, when I want to SOB and just wail it out because the stress is so…. ….stressful.
Back home, I thought he’d be there. The cable store closed at 5, so I gave him until 4:30, but started calling around 3:30. Finally he called me back around 4:30 and had no intention of returning home. He had dropped the boat off and gone on with his day. Without so much as a word, when he knew what I wanted to do. Yet somehow he claimed that he didn’t know I wanted to do that. So frustrating. And I had things I needed to do as well, so I ended up driving my tired kids on another errand, cutting into their dinner and bed times and totally messing up their schedule. Such a frazzled day. Even so, I sort of expected he might return at some point to put the boat back, but he never did. When he did call, I finally said to him, ‘You know you’re being an ass, don’t you?’, to which he actually sounded surprised. ‘No!’ Blah blah blah, blah blah blah, and when I said goodbye, he hung up. Without a goodbye. How rude.
Ass.
I spent the evening reclaiming my bedroom and bathroom. I removed all his stuff and put it in his office. I made more room for LB’s crib, sorted LB’s clothes, rearranged to make things a bit more baby safe near the bed. LB likes to play ‘run away’ on the bed and crawls off as fast as he can, stops, turns and sits, but he gets SO CLOSE to the edge that it practically makes my heart stop. I dread him falling, so at least now there are no sharp corners in falling proximity. It felt good and liberating to have my own bedroom.
Today I had more errands to run. I noticed the boat house (a 10’x20′ aluminum/tarp structure) had shifted somewhat, and hoped he’d return while I was out and resecure everything. Imagine the horror of returning home, turning the corner into our culdesac to see the boat house had blown across the front yard and had lodged in and against a tree. It looked like it must have tumbled end over end completely. Thank God it didn’t blow into the street or damage any body else’s cars or property. That was around 4:30. I called, and called, and called. I called the new work number, the discarded iPhone number and sent email. No returns of any kind. Since it wasn’t blowing any further, being stuck for the time being in a tree, I semi-calmly proceeded to feed the children, bathe the children, put on a movie for BB while I put LB to bed. 8:30, still no word. So what did I do? I took the blessed thing apart. Piece by stinking piece. Most pieces snapped together, but two parts were bolted, and I couldn’t for the life of me find an allen wrench in the chaos of his garage clutter. I had to leave them in place, and in the end, one support rod crushed under pressure. I’m sure he’ll have something unkind to say about that. But I took care of it. I took it all down and put all the parts in the utility trailer and even strapped them down so they wouldn’t blow away.
I am woman, hear me roar.
And I am SO PISSED OFF.
