Finally, the last of the self-documentary October challenge. Things are looking up. It has been a good week, and it is a good day. On the health front, I’m no longer sick. It’s a wonder that these nostrils can supply me with enough oxygen, even on the best of days. Oh. Wait. That’s right. They don’t. Which is partly why I’m seldom effervescing with energy. That and the general sleep deprivation for the last year or so. I also find that I’m much less symmetrical than I’d imagined.
I have a halo. My holiness, a solid white line, is one and a half inches from my scalp. It has been a very long time since anything but Clairol’s Greybusters has been used in achieving the luscious brown locks of my youth.
I’ve discovered the surface of my desk. There is less chaos in the world. I am feeling at peace with the universe.
I am now officially a minivan mom.
I am taking great pleasure in the beauty of my dashboard. Who knew that such pleasure could be derived from a cluster of glowing blue instruments.
I had reservations. I’ve always considered myself the conservative luxury sedan type, or the sporty upscale utility type (given the funds and the preference). I never would have guessed that I’d feel such delight behind the wheel of a minivan. Comfort. Visibility. Smooth turning radius. A cocoon of airbags. Respectable gas mileage. There is, however, the sticker shock to contend with. But I will find a way. Right now I am too tickled, too delighted, in all the deeeeeeeeluxe features I allowed myself. DEEEEEEELUXE!!! It’s a thrilling thing, to be able to revel in the luxury of a new ride. It happens so infrequently in a lifetime (in my lifetime, anyway). Yes, I am very pleased today. And I’ve done my part to keep the economy going. Such a fine citizen I am, indeed.
Our switches are boring, announced the cool cat a month or so ago.
Boring says I.
Boring, says he.
Does a light switch need to be interesting says I.
They’re just boring, says he.
What do you mean by boring , says I.
You know, boring, says he. He’s very expressive, this one.
Some of them have motion sensors, says I. That’s not boring at all!
That’s not what I mean, says he. That doesn’t count.
…and the conversation fades…
I shouldn’t have been surprised the next evening to come home to this. There he was, the cool cat, drill in hand, electrical tape, wire caps (those neato colorful thingamajiggies that you just put on the end of a bunch of wires and twist away to make a clean and safe connection), packaging, papers, and an assortment of various and sundry other odds and ends used in the installation of non-boring light switches. We had, after all, talked about it. Therefore it was officially okay to proceed. Honestly! It’s how the cool one thinks! I learned this when we ‘discussed’ broadband internet last year. That conversation went something like this:
…. a Friday evening in December….
Cool Cat: Comcast is having a special on cable internet.
Me: Oh What’s the catch
Cool Cat: There’s no catch. It’s $x (something cheap but I don’t recall the number).
Me: What about installation The modem probably costs something.
Cool Cat: It’s free.
Me: I’m sure it’s only a limited time offer. There is always something in the fine print. Is there a contract required, or a minimum commitment
Cool Cat: No, nothing like that.
Me: We don’t use the internet at home enough to justify spending extra on broadband.
Cool Cat: I hate waiting for downloads.
Me: You hardly ever use the computer, and I’m on it all day and don’t care to spend that much more time on it when I get home. We don’t need it.
Cool Cat: No comment. Just a blank stare.
Me, sighing: We need to read the fine print and then we can talk about it. (This was most generous of me, as I was probably 36 weeks pregnant or so. Normally I’d say flat out no. We have, you see, had this conversation before. Several times.)
…and the conversation fades…
Monday evening I enter the office to check my email, and I notice a box with packaging materials and whatnot scattered about.
Me: What’s that Looking closer, I see the Comcast label.
Me, suddenly miffed: I told you we could read the fine print and then talk about it.
Cool Cat: Oh. Blank stare.
Me: We didn’t make a decision.
Cool Cat: The offer was going to expire.
Me: You obviously made the decision and ordered it before we even talked about it.
Cool Cat, obviously lying: No, they’re just fast. Sometimes he doesn’t realize that the story just doesn’t add up. Or else he just doesn’t care. He is a stubborn one, he is.
…and that is how we ended up with broadband. Like I said, I was nearly due, and planning to start working from home once my maternity leave was over, at which point the need would be justified. So we got the broadband a few months early.
…and since then…
The Comcast suite has expanded to include digital cable, which then paved the way for the DVR. And each time one of these new services appears, I inquire as to its expense.
Oh, it’s a special, says he. And when the promotion expires, it will actually costs us less than our current cable. So he says. I have yet to see the bills. He claims that he doesn’t hide anything from me, but he is not, shall we say, forthcoming with the information.
…But this was a tale of boring lightswitches. The new switches are ultra hip, two tone, wide, and flat. (I’m not particularly fond of them. They look trendy to me, and I prefer the old fashioned non-descript switches we had before.) We have a triple switch in the entry where the first bay is a three way, which can also be switched from upstairs. We have these motion sensor switches installed in several convenient places so that we have only to walk into the zone and the light comes on automatically, for a set time. Very handy in the pantry and the bathroom. We thought it would be nice for the stairs, so we wouldn’t have to look for a switch in the dark with a sleeping babe in one’s arms. Thus begins the tale of the three way switch.
There’s really not much of a tale to tell. I asked the cool cat if he wanted any help.
No, no, I’m fine, says he. The task begins in the late afternoon. And continues. I hear the sound of the drill, putting the plates back together. Footsteps up. Cursing. Footsteps down. More cursing. Silence (while head is being scratched, I imagine.) More drilling, undoing the plates. More silence, redoing the wiring. This cycle repeats until bed time. The cursing becomes more passionate. Still, he does not want my help. Finally, he calls it quits and puts one of the old fashioned plain switches back, defeated by the three-way motion sensor. Bed time. Another day. The weekend arrives and we drive a few hundred miles to visit my sister C. and her very capable husband D., a fine team who have built a most amazing and beautiful home together. The cool one brings up the matter of the switch with D., while we’re driving around. I’m in back with my sister. I whisper to her that he won’t ask me for help. I do have a degree in electrical engineering, you know. Not that one learns anything practical like house wiring in an electrical engineering program, because I certainly didn’t. But I can follow a diagram, thank you very much. D offers to help if the cool one will fax the instructions over, later. But he’ll have to take a look at the instructions first. I smile at my sister. I am very patient. A few weeks later, I say to the cool one, let’s finish that switch installation this weekend.
Sure, says he. We’ve had a hole in the lightplate for weeks, since the new plate has big rectangular holes for the new switches, and the old switch requires a very small opening.
Somewhere in the midst of this tale I forgot to mention the key point that the cool one doesn’t actually read instructions. He will glance at the pictures once in a while, but will rarely read anything written around the pictures, including, it would seem, the title, which addresses the specific switch configuration. The switch was, I found, wired perfectly for a two-way configuration. So. I looked at the instructions, and determined the scenario. This is what we have. This is what we want. This wire goes here. This wire goes there. This one and this one connect to that one. That one and this one connect to the other one. Those two connect to each other. And reverse on the other side. Five minutes, max. Voila! It works. Imagine that.
The theme for the day is the contents of my medicine cabinet.
Alas, my medicine cabinet is very boring, full of things that I don’t use.
In fact, the only things I use regularly are on the bottom shelf, plus the deodorant, which is too tall for the bottom shelf.
To make it more interesting, I staged the bottom shelf to add frogs of my own (ref sea dwelling creatures). In fact, the brown tamarind stained pottery box with the frog lid is a fertility symbol and gift from a sweet friend. (Hey, it worked!)
I really do have frogs scattered about the bathroom. This one usually lives on the counter near the sink. Sometimes he can be found hiding in the bark at the base of the orchid.
The self-documentary continues.
There’s nothing as sweet as snuggling with my boy, first thing in the morning.
My bed hasn’t been made since I was single. This is a small point of contention, as I am learning to pick my battles. I’m the first one up, always, so it doesn’t get made. Ever.
But isn’t this a fabulous quilt My mother made this for me, and it was a wedding gift. There’s a much longer story behind it, as it took over 5 years to complete, but that’s another story for another day.
I told her the colors I liked, and gave her an idea based on a greeting card with a floral vine and scalloped edges. Fantastic, huh She decided to try a button hole (or is it satin ) stitch around one of the leaves, but having done one, needed to do them all. There are over a million stitches in this quilt. Did I mention it took 5 years to complete
I’ve been working on a halloween costume for the munchkin. He will be the cutest viking I’ve ever seen. I’m nearly finished. I stained the horns using coffee grounds to get that battered dirty look. They were originally a very white flannelly fabric. I love the fur, but I’m sure he will try to eat it and it might not go over too well. There is a shirt with fur cuffs, leggings, a tunic with a fur collar, a pair of boots with fur cuffs, and hat with horns and fur trim. Very fierce. I was going to make him a fleece bludgeon, but I’m running out of steam.
Working. See, my hair is shiny. I took a shower and got dressed today. I went in to the office for half a day this morning. At home, my desk is still a mess, and my office is still a cave. But I had a good time in the other office. It was good to be around people.
I have a pimple under my nose, in a very sensitive spot. Ouch. Of course, it wouldn’t hurt if I would leave it alone. But I can’t do that. I like this photo perspective. It sheds a good 50 lbs. That’s why the cool cat always thinks these are old pictures, because I look skinny. No, I tell him. I took it today.
It all started a few weeks ago, this football social thing. Being tuned in, now, I happened to notice a raffle in my company newspaper. So I entered, and voila, I won! Two free tickets to Sunday’s NFL game. Woohoo. I gave the cool cat the good news. I don’t mind an outing, especially if it’s free. When I got the tickets, I noticed the price posted on ech ticket was $33. That’s a far cry from the hundreds that CC has spent, but that is an entirely different inquisition that I will save for a day when I have more energy. Of course, these seats were at a dizzying height, 5 rows from the top of the stadium. Vertigo zone, for sure. And a bit unnerving to be perched so high up with an infant strapped to my body. Anyway, free tickets. As luck and timing would have it, the cool cat ran across a customer who happened to own a sportswear shop. Having no shame whatsoever, he somehow arrived home with official NFL attire for all. A jersey for the Boo, plus a jogging suit and onesie, all embroidered in the team logo. For me, a nice long-sleeved shirt with the team name in big fancy block lettered emboidery across the chest. The cool one got one of those too, plus a jersey to match Boo’s. But that’s not all. The wardrobe wasn’t complete without the official hooded sweatshirt and baseball cap. Truthfully, I’m a bit embarrassed. Like I said, he has no shame. I should mention this windfall was free. That customer must have been very happy with the cool cat’s service (he repairs household appliances, and must have saved the day).
I must say, Boo is absolutely adorable in his official NFL jersey. How cute can a little guy be !
The game was actually fun. FUN! There’s something about a stadium packed full of people, wearing all sorts of crazy things, from painted faces, painted mowhawked hair, to crazy foam hats. The works. The smell of stadium food filled the cool autumn air — garlic fries, hot chocolate, beer, hotdogs. The theatrics were a hoot. They had a squadron of drummers who would roll out a beat every once in a while and try to get the crowd all worked up. It was very hypnotic. I got a kick out of the huge screen they use for playback and advertising, and such. Every now and then it would flash the evil eye. The shape of the mascot’s eye would fill the screen and flash a glowing neon green to an accompanying ominous sound like that of crashing thunder. I imagine it was meant to be intimidating to the opposing team. Or if the refs made a questionable call, the crowd would boo and the evil eye would flash and crash. I found it quite amusing. Of course, we happened to be seated behind a couple of drunk youngsters who were a bit on the obnoxious side. The alcohol patrol actually showed up to have a little word with them, and they settled down a bit after that. Yes, they had people in yellow jackets with the words Alcohol Patrol or Alcohol Enforcement, I can’t remember which, stamped across the back. Very official. They must have cameras all over the place, scanning the crowd for trouble. Because I’m not aware that anybody reported them, and I had a good vantage point for all their antics.
Then there were the girls. Those long haired, long legged beauties out there shaking it up. I used to be in drill team, a hundred years ago, and it reminded me of the glory days. How I wish I were one of those long haired, long legged beauties, shaking it up out there on the field. It looked like so much fun! White go-go boots! We wore white go-go boots! And what a devoted following they have. All those male admirers. Such attention. Of course, anyone who dresses like a stripper and shakes it like a stripper is bound to get some attention. I could possibly be a mascot, because they can wear a big frumpy animal outfit. I’d still dream of being one of those dancing girls. Ah, the life. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be, though. My sister is in the glamour biz, and one of these dancing girl celebrities was telling her about the pressure of being who she is. She can’t go anywhere without full makeup, hair, the works. She has to maintain an image. Tres importante. I could never do that. Remember, I don’t have the best hygiene schedule or wardrobe. Sometimes I wear slippers to the supermarket. I do. They’re nondescript black, and I always hope nobody notices.
All in all, the game was fun. The parking was ridiculous though. $30. THIRTY DOLLARS! It’s an outrage. It’s highway robbery. And then there was the idiot drunkard on the way out who was out of control. I don’t know what he was all riled up about, but he was engaged in a fist fight in the upper level hall as we were coming out of the stadium seating area. We worked our way around the hubbub and made our way to level two, where another fight was breaking out. Hey, isn’t that the same guy, I asked the cool one. Sure enough, it was. Unbelievable. We just shook our heads and made our way to the first level and out. Where is the Security staff when you need them When we emerged on the street level, we saw a crowd of police officers, and there he was in the midst of them. I was glad to see that he was being arrested. He was handcuffed and under interrogation. I had seen him punch another person in the face, and it sort of looked like that person was a bystander who happened to be in the way. I don’t know, though. I wasn’t in on it, and wanted to keep my distance, what with Boo and all. It’s very unpleasant to see violence like that. I see plenty on tv, but still, it’s tv. This was real. It was much different.
Getting home wasn’t too bad, once we found our car. It helps to return to the same parking garage where it’s parked, though.
One of the things I love best about this beautiful boy is his smile. Once he got past the colic, he has been the happiest child. My sister remarked that he has the smile of a Muppet (and she meant that as a compliment, in the most loving way, because she adores this love bug nephew of hers).
…and, I must say, I have to agree…
The love bug wouldn’t hold still, as if that’s a big surprise. Especially with such an interesting thing nearby. He is somewhere between 30 and 31 inches tall, and weighs around 30 lbs as well. I’ll get the real numbers from the professionals next week at his 9-month checkup. No matter what, he’s a big love bug! He’s already wearing size 2T.
That’s more like it!, he’s thinking to himself. I’m certain of it.
Blackbird’s Friday Show and Tell theme is Things that Annoy.
Tailgaters. People who follow too close. Especially when they’re driving obnoxious big pickup trucks. In a school zone. And a construction zone. (Traffic fines are double in school zones. They’re double in construction zones too. I wonder if that means they’re quadrupled in school zones with concurrent construction.) Especially people driving obnoxious big white pickup trucks, who then flash their headlights at me, as I am approaching an intersection, where the light is currently yellow on its way to red. Hello Especially people driving obnoxious big white pickup trucks, flashing their headlights at me, expecting me to run a red light through a school and construction zone, with children on board said truck. Especially people who tailgate me when MY child is on board. Grrrrrrrrr.*
Singers who attempt to convey passion by squeezing their voices through clenched teeth. Posers. It. Does. Not. Work. For instance Photograph, by Nickelback. And pretty much any pop Michael Bolton ever did. Now, he (Bolton) has professional training in opera (I’m pretty sure I read that some time back), and the man can sing if he wants to, but ACCKKK! None of that whiney fakey constipated so-called passion. Chad Kroeger (Nickelback) sings just fine in Why Don’t You & I with Santana, so I know he has it in him. So what is up with Photograph If someone wants to convey passion in their singing scream, then by golly, open wide, throw back the head, and belt it out from the bottom of the belly! (Roger Daltry and Bono are good at this.) Whew, glad I got that one off my chest.
But this is show and tell, so perhaps a picture is in order.
Non-recyclable items in the recycle bin. And I could list a hundred other things with accompanying photographic proof, but alas, it would only serve to portray unbalanced annoyance cool-catward, and I would have to follow up with an equally long list of all that is wonderful about him, to keep the karma straight.
On a more positive note, today my dreamboat is nine months old. And he’s as dreamy as ever. My little love bug.
*In all fairness, I myself, might have ended up a wee bit close on occasion recently, as I have found myself trying to get a better look at the leaf patterns in trees that catch my eye as I drive by, arrayed in their gorgeous fall foliage. What is that tree, I think to myself, over and over, but can’t quite tell what most of them are. The oaks and the maples are easy, but there are so many that I am now noticing in their fall splendor, and I think to myself, I must have one of these. If only I knew what it was. So, the lady in the grey Volvo sedan with the Baby on Board sign in the rear window apologizes to anyone who she might have gotten a little close to enroute from thereabouts to home.
According to the Jung Typology Test, I am INFJ, the Counselor Idealist.
Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging
Strength of the preferences %
78 12 38 67
Qualitative analysis:
- very expressed introvert
- slightly expressed intuitive personality
- moderately expressed feeling personality
- distinctively expressed judging personality
I found this link on Dani’s page. I thought I’d been to quite a few places until I looked at this map.
create your own visited countries map
